| | A story I wrote in Language Arts class. | |
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+9Domia abr Wyrda Rahl eragon5217 Jumpmann Simply Aravelle Andrew Blue Emster geniusevil DeltaFlip 13 posters | |
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DeltaFlip
Posts : 976 Join date : 2008-06-12 Age : 29 Location : My better reality.
| Subject: A story I wrote in Language Arts class. Wed Nov 05, 2008 11:48 am | |
| If Manny had only known what he was getting into, none of this would have happened, thought Mike bitterly as he watched people flit by him, living their own lives, with their own troubles, their own hassles, their own futures. If Manny had only known…but Manny had known. He had known exactly what he was doing. Had known what he was getting into, and what the consequences would be…Mike flinched as a person passed him who was on his way to a building he was planning to jump off of. And I hate him for it. He hated the fact that Manny had gotten everything he wanted and more, his life long dream, the money the girl, everything. And here Mike was, Michael Warren Jones, stuck here in this half-life, this cursed life, this…this…Mike had no word for it. This oblivion. Yes, oblivion, he thought. This tortuous oblivion, having to watch the lives of the souls around him, but unable to move, unable to even close his eyes, shut out the images, shut out the mental burning, the anger, the sadness, the rare joyous ones…They hurt the worst, Mike continued to think. Seeing them, in a truly happy moment of their life, caused him indescribable pain. Knowing that he would never experience them himself…That was his curse. To experience every thought and every emotion of every person that passed by him near the small bus stop in New York. Except…it never really seemed like his own thoughts or emotions. It was like he was viewing them through a one way mirror, viewing but not being part of…Mike could not help but empathize with the man who passed him earlier.
Last edited by DeltaFlip on Tue Nov 11, 2008 10:58 am; edited 1 time in total | |
| | | DeltaFlip
Posts : 976 Join date : 2008-06-12 Age : 29 Location : My better reality.
| Subject: Re: A story I wrote in Language Arts class. Sun Nov 09, 2008 11:09 am | |
| The eyes behind the tinted glass were impossible to appeal to. No matter how many times he tried, they stayed blank, unmoving, unfocused...dead. Dead, and would never be alive, not again. But, no, they could not be dead, it wasn't possible, it wasn't true! He could not be dead, he who had protected him all his life, had gotten them food, had kept away the predators, humans and animals alike, had looked out for both of them since he was two. They're lying, the boy thought frantically, trying to keep reality from entering his head. They're lying, he continued to think. They're not telling the truth, they want me to think he's dead, I don't believe them! With that, the boy slammed his fists against the glass, hoping to break it, hoping to reach his brother. Tears were running dowin his face as he slid to the cold metal floor beneath them. "I won't believe them," the boy choked out. "I can't." | |
| | | geniusevil
Posts : 954 Join date : 2008-10-14 Age : 29 Location : somewhere, sometimes between heaven and hell, but only sometimes
| Subject: Re: A story I wrote in Language Arts class. Tue Nov 11, 2008 10:17 am | |
| what actually happened to get this guy like that? | |
| | | DeltaFlip
Posts : 976 Join date : 2008-06-12 Age : 29 Location : My better reality.
| Subject: Re: A story I wrote in Language Arts class. Tue Nov 11, 2008 10:21 am | |
| In my first or second one? | |
| | | Emster
Posts : 2608 Join date : 2008-06-18 Age : 29 Location : North Carolina
| Subject: Re: A story I wrote in Language Arts class. Wed Nov 12, 2008 1:10 am | |
| WEIRD even though i did not read it | |
| | | geniusevil
Posts : 954 Join date : 2008-10-14 Age : 29 Location : somewhere, sometimes between heaven and hell, but only sometimes
| Subject: Re: A story I wrote in Language Arts class. Wed Nov 12, 2008 3:13 am | |
| - Wolverine Girly wrote:
- WEIRD even though i did not read it
its really mean to assume somethings weird when you didnt read it | |
| | | Emster
Posts : 2608 Join date : 2008-06-18 Age : 29 Location : North Carolina
| Subject: Re: A story I wrote in Language Arts class. Wed Nov 12, 2008 7:13 am | |
| no its just weird that he would put his language arts story on a Eragon forum | |
| | | geniusevil
Posts : 954 Join date : 2008-10-14 Age : 29 Location : somewhere, sometimes between heaven and hell, but only sometimes
| Subject: Re: A story I wrote in Language Arts class. Wed Nov 12, 2008 9:48 am | |
| whatevs the way you said it was still mean | |
| | | Andrew Blue
Posts : 274 Join date : 2008-10-06 Location : Oklahoma!
| Subject: Re: A story I wrote in Language Arts class. Fri Nov 14, 2008 10:03 am | |
| Yes, it kinds was. Now for the stories (disclaimer: I'm usually very critical)... I think that the description was good. The emotions was a bit much, however. There's such thing as too much. It certainly wasn't bad, but it was a bit overkillish (I should so coin that word). You're stories need a bit more meat, but they're good overall. | |
| | | Simply Aravelle
Posts : 3017 Join date : 2008-06-08 Age : 30 Location : Locked away in the castle people call my mind.
| Subject: Re: A story I wrote in Language Arts class. Sun Nov 23, 2008 5:36 am | |
| - Andrew Blue wrote:
- Yes, it kinds was.
Now for the stories (disclaimer: I'm usually very critical)... I think that the description was good. The emotions was a bit much, however. There's such thing as too much. It certainly wasn't bad, but it was a bit overkillish (I should so coin that word). You're stories need a bit more meat, but they're good overall. Ditto. Also em is incorrect. Don't be judgemental if you haven't read it yet. this is a writing part of the forum, so he is entitled to post a story no matter where or how it was writtten. | |
| | | Jumpmann
Posts : 543 Join date : 2008-09-27 Age : 29 Location : in a cake
| Subject: Re: A story I wrote in Language Arts class. Sun Nov 23, 2008 8:09 am | |
| Why is the guy trapped like that in the first one? I don't understand | |
| | | eragon5217
Posts : 3010 Join date : 2008-06-22 Age : 27 Location : VT
| Subject: Re: A story I wrote in Language Arts class. Sun Nov 23, 2008 8:34 am | |
| They were good and I agree with Sam and GE. Although I don't know why I'm talking considering I suck at writing. Although I could show you one of my pieces of work if I could find it. | |
| | | DeltaFlip
Posts : 976 Join date : 2008-06-12 Age : 29 Location : My better reality.
| Subject: Re: A story I wrote in Language Arts class. Tue Nov 25, 2008 8:22 am | |
| Psh, how should I know how he got in that position? I mean, that was more like an epilogue to a sequel of another book. | |
| | | geniusevil
Posts : 954 Join date : 2008-10-14 Age : 29 Location : somewhere, sometimes between heaven and hell, but only sometimes
| Subject: Re: A story I wrote in Language Arts class. Tue Nov 25, 2008 8:54 am | |
| yyou wrote it, it would be weird if you didnt know what happened before it | |
| | | DeltaFlip
Posts : 976 Join date : 2008-06-12 Age : 29 Location : My better reality.
| Subject: Re: A story I wrote in Language Arts class. Wed Nov 26, 2008 7:57 am | |
| I don't know what happens in my books until I write them. | |
| | | Rahl
Posts : 2542 Join date : 2008-06-16 Age : 29 Location : S.C.
| Subject: Re: A story I wrote in Language Arts class. Thu Nov 27, 2008 11:14 pm | |
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| | | Simply Aravelle
Posts : 3017 Join date : 2008-06-08 Age : 30 Location : Locked away in the castle people call my mind.
| Subject: Re: A story I wrote in Language Arts class. Sat Nov 29, 2008 2:15 am | |
| What's with the WHOO! and YEAH! You high on something? | |
| | | Domia abr Wyrda
Posts : 2063 Join date : 2008-06-28 Age : 32 Location : Alagaesia and sometimes Avalon
| Subject: Re: A story I wrote in Language Arts class. Mon Dec 01, 2008 2:17 am | |
| i like it SAM
it sounds well thought out....which is weird since u just wrote it | |
| | | Fish Head
Posts : 2554 Join date : 2008-09-24 Age : 28 Location : http://eragonhq.weebly.com/ GO THERE
| Subject: Re: A story I wrote in Language Arts class. Sun Dec 07, 2008 5:50 am | |
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| | | Rahl
Posts : 2542 Join date : 2008-06-16 Age : 29 Location : S.C.
| Subject: Re: A story I wrote in Language Arts class. Tue Dec 09, 2008 8:43 pm | |
| - Simply Aravelle wrote:
- What's with the WHOO! and YEAH! You high on something?
Of course I'm high! jk I was just being random | |
| | | Living A Love Song
Posts : 573 Join date : 2008-12-12 Age : 30 Location : I don't know...where am I?
| Subject: Re: A story I wrote in Language Arts class. Fri Dec 12, 2008 11:53 am | |
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| | | DeltaFlip
Posts : 976 Join date : 2008-06-12 Age : 29 Location : My better reality.
| Subject: Re: A story I wrote in Language Arts class. Fri Dec 12, 2008 11:56 am | |
| West Ninth Street was quiet that day.
Of course, this wasn’t all that unusual. It was quiet every day. But there were absolutely no sounds that day. No animal sounds, no birds chirping, no dogs barking, no cats meowing, nothing. No hum of an air conditioning, no news reporters from TVs out of open windows, no people whatsoever.
West Ninth Street had been that way for almost 2 years. And still he walked. The Runner walked on. The 17 year old young man had tattered blue jeans, a thin, hooded jacked that used to be white but years of wear and tear combined with grime had turned it into a color that was very near gray, and a black beanie on his head with strands of dirty blond hair seeping from the edges.
The boys face had a somehow permanent look of sadness to it, an amount of sadness that anyone that age should not have. This person had obviously experienced terrors in his life that should not be fair for anyone, no matter how heinous a crime.
Perhaps the strangest attribute of him were his eyes. The irises were stark white, whiter than the area surrounding them. Few darker specks were scattered around black pupils, specks of a color close to gold.
The boy passed through, his unusual eyes taking in the surroundings with a passive sort of observance, looking over his own shoulder from time to time. A small, dark red backpack hung from one strap, the other appearing broken.
A low humming began, sounding at first like a refrigerator and increasing steadily in volume till it was as loud as a shower from the floor below, a stock car, a jet plane standing 40 feet away, and growing still.
The Runner was running, had been running when he had noticed that sound, when it was no louder than a bee. He knew that the louder it was, closer it must be.
And it was close now. Darkness moved along the street, roaring like a freight train. What it most resembled was a mist, a mist blacker than the back of your eyelids, moving down the street, swallowing the houses and mailboxes and lawnmowers left behind from its first visit, and moving at what could be the speed of a freight train. One other thing that might be important to say. Its speed was increasing.
The youth was running, faster than any human ever born. But the darkness was faster. Sending out two long tendrils on either side, the darkness advanced, the tendrils curving around to join in front, trapping the figure in tattered clothes. He skidded to a halt, turning to look behind him, but with no real hope in his eyes. The darkness grew and grew till it swallowed the sky above and any light from any direction. Naturally you’d think that you should be able to see nothing at all in the small dome of air, but the fact that the darkness around the patch of air was darker still seemed to bathe the globe in a sort of twilight.
Forms began looming out from Darkness, arms and hands sliding out from it, men, women, children, infants, and animals too, dogs, cats, birds, squirrels…a sly looking raccoon came slinking out of the black. The only silhouetted form looking as if he had any life there had sunk into a crouch with its arms raised and its fists half curled, looking as if it was going to fight its way out. And fight he did.
The fighter’s name was Micheal Corin Marthis. This is his story.
***************PAGE BREAK***************
As the narrator said, this is my story. Hi. I’m Mike. You probably don’t know me. Well, I mean, there is the possibility that you’ve met me once, but, I mean, since the human race is enslaved by darkness, it’s highly unlikely that you actually had the ability of conscious thought when you met me. Or I guess a better way to say “When you met me” would be “When I kicked your butt.” Unless you’re one of the five Runners, which would be really weird, because, like, why would one of us be reading our own book?
Anyways…so, here I am fighting slaves of darkness all by my handy dandy self and thinking, Where the heck is everybody? when low and behold! Here comes Andrew, carefully fighting his way through in his own globe of twilight.
“Took you long enough!” I yelled in an aggravated voice.
“What?” he asked me in a voice full of defiance. “I was halfway across town when they caught up to me. You’re the first I’ve found so far.”
“How?” The word escaped from my throat before I could stop it. “How did they find us? They knew almost exactly where we were. How?”
“I don’t know,” Andy said wearily, shoving away a large Doberman while at the same time kicking a man wearing a prim business suit straight in the chest, propelling him back to where he came from. “Sometimes I think…I think there must be somebody on the inside…one of us—“
“Don’t,” I said out of the corner of my mouth sharply, cutting off the rest of his sentence. “Don’t think that.”
He nodded grimly.
Alright, you’re probably confused as heck right now, and wanting an explanation, right? I mean, how can two guys have a conversation in the middle fighting? Kinda a long story which I really don’t have time to tell right now. So be patient and keep reading and I‘ll promise to try and get around to telling it eventually.
Enough of my interruptions.
Last edited by DeltaFlip on Sat Dec 13, 2008 9:42 am; edited 1 time in total | |
| | | DeltaFlip
Posts : 976 Join date : 2008-06-12 Age : 29 Location : My better reality.
| Subject: Re: A story I wrote in Language Arts class. Fri Dec 12, 2008 11:56 am | |
| As far as I've gotten so far. | |
| | | Emster
Posts : 2608 Join date : 2008-06-18 Age : 29 Location : North Carolina
| Subject: Re: A story I wrote in Language Arts class. Sun Dec 14, 2008 8:22 am | |
| ahhh too much to read eyes hurt | |
| | | Rahl
Posts : 2542 Join date : 2008-06-16 Age : 29 Location : S.C.
| Subject: Re: A story I wrote in Language Arts class. Sun Dec 14, 2008 1:20 pm | |
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