The "Thought" thread

*Sorry. I have a bit of an emotional overload...
Gah, another sad song! Bad mitch hansen bad! But it's twilight...
So? Twilgiht is overrated...THAT'S NOT TRUE, IT'S PERFECT!! Ok, you know that isn't true. Shut up. Why do I have to be so contradictory? Perhpas if I actually agreed on one thing about myself I wouldn't be so messed up...Gah, saying too much SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! But why? Ugh...*

oh don't mind me... I'm clearly just not as expressive about as you when it comes to how I feel.

*Well, I just don't care what people on here think anymore. I release it all, not to mention it helps others to understand why I act the way I do. I'm actually much cheerier on here than I am in RL. I scare people, even myself to be honest. I say to myself that I'm not emo but then I look;black make up, black shirt and shoes, and I listening to screamo while reading edgar allan poe by myself in the dark in fetal position on the couch....*

hm...

*Sam! Don't trouble Zeb, he has his own problems...but he cares and he's someone to talk to...So? Stop it. Other people will read this too, and other people will worry...but people worry anyway...So? Why make them worry more? I don't know...becuase you're selfish. It's always about you isn't it? What about your mom, morgan, and your friends? You worry them and stress them out...But then why don't I end it? BECAUSE YOU'LL WORRY THEM MORE!! It just shows how selfish you are. You want to be put out of your own misery but you won't try to be optimistic so they won't worry. See, zeb is optimistic, be like him...but I'm not optimistic. Not anymore...Why do I always sound so emo? I don't mean to be, I don't want to be. But I am, and god does it suck...There you go again, throwing yourself another silly little pity party...ALRIGHT ENOUGH THINKING!! I THINK TOO MUCH AAAH!!!!*

*hm don't worry about me. I just sometimes feel... idk, about other peples problems. I always want to help, which is sometimes a fault... well who cares if its helping someone it's worth it right? well usually... ugh i take on too much responsibility... i'm somtimes an overacheiver, and then I procrastinate and fail... well who cares about my problems, don't want to worry people... not that they have anything to worry about I'm just rambling.... so anyways how can I cheer Sam up? hmm.... elliot obviously does. ugh he's so... well whatever sam needs to try to be happier, but I can understand how hard it is. sigh, I wish I would fall asleep forever and maybe just... ugh whatever. I cant... well whatever I'm not good at expressing myself like sam... hm i need to work on writing.... sam needs to keep a journal and then she'll publish it and become rich and famous and find her edward and live happilly ever after. sigh.*

*OMG! this is so wierd, I came back from this swim meet and now I feel totally different, I mean it's like I'm like really sad or something, but not really, it's more like no emotion or really strong emotions that have little effect and I feel like really um....... I dunno, miserable about something, well I have some ideas, but I don't know for sure, hmm.....*

*anyone know what's going on?*

As much as I would like to express my full thoughts, I think I would frighten everyone by making them thinking that I'm suicidal and call 911 or child services or something like that.

*lol, well does anyone know?*

*hm.... what should I think?*

EternalDreamer wrote:

*Well, I just don't care what people on here think anymore. I release it all, not to mention it helps others to understand why I act the way I do. I'm actually much cheerier on here than I am in RL. I scare people, even myself to be honest. I say to myself that I'm not emo but then I look;black make up, black shirt and shoes, and I listening to screamo while reading edgar allan poe by myself in the dark in fetal position on the couch....*

And we are her friends and she should be able to tell us this stuff.

*hmm.... I still wonder why I feel crasy like this the past few days.......*

*what??*

* Apple cider. I'm on my nineth cup*

*OMG! that's a LOT*

*I haven't even started, Right emily?8

dude you had like 30 cups the day i called you, you idiot

lol.

*hehe*

*I feel so odd. Why am I not wearing black?!?! I need my black...but I don't hurt. But you will hurt, soon. But SAM!!! You might not be leaving and now look! TWO PEOPLE LIKE YOU!!! You are not ugly if 2 people since the beginning of the schoolyear do. Why, not even the airheads have had 2! So? They aren't HIM. You nkow, what, forget HIM. He's just a boy, he's nto good enough! And how would you know, you like him, you just don't want to admit it!! THERE IS BETTER OTU THERE AND YOU SHOULDN'T MAKE HIM A PRIORITY IF HE ONLY SEES YOU AS AN OPTION! Besides, true love waits. you idiot, you're 14. You don't love. But I am capable of it!!! I don't THINK or even feel 14. I don't worry abotu the things they do, so am I really one? Even if you are, guys 99% of the time are. You will have to wait. Oh, I don't fit in anywhere....*

EternalDreamer wrote:

*I feel so odd. Why am I not wearing black?!?! I need my black...but I don't hurt. But you will hurt, soon. But SAM!!! You might not be leaving and now look! TWO PEOPLE LIKE YOU!!! You are not ugly if 2 people since the beginning of the schoolyear do. Why, not even the airheads have had 2! So? They aren't HIM. You nkow, what, forget HIM. He's just a boy, he's nto good enough! And how would you know, you like him, you just don't want to admit it!! THERE IS BETTER OTU THERE AND YOU SHOULDN'T MAKE HIM A PRIORITY IF HE ONLY SEES YOU AS AN OPTION! Besides, true love waits. you idiot, you're 14. You don't love. But I am capable of it!!! I don't THINK or even feel 14. I don't worry abotu the things they do, so am I really one? Even if you are, guys 99% of the time are. You will have to wait. Oh, I don't fit in anywhere....*

I can relate. Except for, you know, the opposite around with the girls and the boys.

*Yes but you don't worship a fictional character?!?! No one will ever be like him and that is all I want. Someone beautful and unique, who says the right things in different ways than everyone else. I don't want someone who jokes about crude innuedo. I need someone beautiful and deep, someone who could love me even if I was the ugliest person in the world!!! Someone who could see past that, and tell me that I am beautiful anyway. And mean it. It's not fair!!!!!!
NOT FAIR AT ALL!!!! I want to be beautiful, I want to be skinny but msot of all I WANT EDWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!! darn, the hormones are reeling out of control...CALM DOWN. INHALE EXHALE....BUT I DON'T WANT TO!!!!*